I Didn’t Realize I Needed This: Embracing the Power of Self-Forgiveness

There is power in self-forgiveness.

Two weeks ago, I had the honor of speaking on “Embracing the Power of Self-forgiveness” at the 75th Annual NACSW Convention. Twenty men and women came to the workshop. I defined self-forgiveness (what it’s not) and what it is.

I shared research on the impact of self-forgiveness, the barriers that make it difficult, and how learning to release ourselves empowers us both personally and in our clinical work. There was a breakout session, and I covered how to nurture self-forgiveness through practical strategies and biblical principles.

We closed with a guided exercise and prayer.

Everyone in the room prayed.

One gentleman prayed, 'God, thank you for letting me realize what I didn’t even know I needed' (paraphrased).

May God place you in rooms and situations that help you recognize what your soul needs, and may you pursue it with courage and with your whole heart.

Reflection Questions & Answers:
Q: When you hear the term self-forgiveness, what emotions or words come to mind?
A: Freedom, healing, transformation, and the ability to move forward.

Q: What differences would we see in our relationships, our marriages, our work, and within ourselves if we practiced self-forgiveness?
A: We’d experience inner peace, reconciliation, healing, and a deeper connection with God, ourselves, and others.

Q: How easy or difficult is it to forgive yourself compared to forgiving others?
A: It’s become much easier for me now over time. When I let myself down, make a mistake, or breach my boundaries or values, I’ve learned that blaming myself, replaying what-ifs, and holding on to guilt and shame isn’t noble. It does nothing but harm my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It keeps me stagnant in my purpose, relationships, and pursuits. Self-forgiveness isn’t a scapegoat or a free pass. It’s a gift that allows me to grow, repair, and move forward.